I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
