remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
