I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
