it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
