this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
