sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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