Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
