When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
