he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
