1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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