I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
