I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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