if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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