also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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