No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
