the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
