This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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