D3 body, D1 cock
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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