I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
