dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
