dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My breasts were aching with rage.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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