we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I still have a little drunk in my system
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
