Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
