Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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