i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
