chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
