5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
