he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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