I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
