She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
