eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
