I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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