Your tits are I can't wait for
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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