How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
