im drinking this country out of the recession.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
