After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
