Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
