Who did Billy Mays play for?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
