If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
