Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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