the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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