my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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