you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
