wrigley field is MILF paradise
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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