Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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