last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
