Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
