Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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