the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
