I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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