I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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