why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I love having hate sex.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
