when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
