dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
