wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
