I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
