I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
