I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
