White coat. Heels.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
