dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
