It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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