The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
